Kim At Home

Family Home Evening (FHE): Preparedness/Gardening

May 17, 2018 by kim.milius@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Making an out of state move last year was a big deal to our kids who knew no other home than Colorado. When we found the home we were going to buy and it had a larger backyard than the one in Colorado, one of the things we promised the kids (to help make the move easier on them) was that they would each get to plant their very own garden. They were all very excited for that! By the time we moved in and got settled it was way too hot to plant a garden so I was determined we would have one this year to fulfill that promise to the kids — to be honest, they also didn’t let us forget about that promise! The great part was being able to include it in a Family Home Evening lesson so they saw the purpose behind it instead of it just being a fun activity.

(This post contains affiliate links; if you click on a link and buy something, I’ll get a small portion of the sale. I only recommend products we already know, love, and use ourselves, there’s no increase of price to you, and it’s just a way to pay for the time I spend putting off my chores by blogging about things I love!)

FHE Lesson

For our Monday night lesson, I wrote up 5 different note cards, one for each of our kids. I held them (blank side facing the kids) like a deck of cards and allowed them to pick one and come up with a solution of what we would do in that situation.

There was a hurricane. It shut down the oil refineries and led to a gas shortage. We don’t have a way to get to the stores without gas in our car and the trucks that bring food to the stores don’t have gas either.
Dad lost his job and we don’t have any income to buy food.
The electricity went out. The stores can’t sell any food without electricity to run their store lights, refrigerators, and registers.
After a big storm, the roads are flooded and we can’t get to the store.
There was a drought and the farmers who normally sell their crops to the stores weren’t able to produce enough for the whole country. Now there is a shortage of fruits and vegetables.

Explain: All of these are things that could happen and would leave us without food. But, if we store some food for emergencies and if we plant some of our own food, we would be okay until the stores were up and running again. Talk about what kind of food storage you have in the house or are working on accumulating and how you can add to that food by gardening. The prophets have taught us that we need to be prepared. And if we’re prepared then we don’t need to worry about these things happening because we know we’ll be okay.

Song: Sing or listen to the song The Prophet Said to Plant a Garden

Because our time is limited in the evening before we send our kids to bed, we spread this lesson out over a few days.

We had the lesson on Monday.
On Tuesday we went shopping for plants & seeds. Each kid got to pick out what they wanted to grow in their own garden space; we allowed them to get flowers but they had to include something edible as well.
On Wednesday we planted our gardens. I looked into buying or making planter boxes for each kid, but that was so expensive. Instead I found these awesome garden bags for much cheaper. They had good ratings, so I thought we’d give them a try. I got a 5 pack of 30 gallon bags and they are working great. I think I probably could’ve done an even larger size, but this is good for starting out.

The one who planted carrots didn’t work out so well and we’re going to try planting something else. But the pumpkin plants and blackberries are thriving as well as some flowers that the girls added to their gardens. We also spent the money to build some large raised bed boxes for growing and harvested our first zucchinis this morning so it has been exciting.

I love that our kids check on their plants every morning. One day, our son was in tears because the heat of the day had wilted his pumpkin leaves and the flowers were dying. It gave us a great chance to research and find out that that is perfectly normal and doesn’t mean he won’t get any pumpkins. These kids are invested in their little gardens and super excited to eat blackberries and pumpkin pie!

Moms: It’s time to spend more time unplugged

May 3, 2018 by kim.milius@gmail.com 2 Comments

What would life look like if you spent more time unplugged? Can you imagine a life where your kids or husband didn’t have to compete for your attention with a screen? What about a life where you could tune in to the world around you instead of being bombarded with sensory overload? What would it be like if you could hear the still, small whisperings of the spirit teaching you and guiding you throughout your day? How much more could you get done if you didn’t get caught up in mindlessly scrolling?

As much as I try to avoid it and as much as limit my kids’ have screen time, I’ve gotten caught in its trap. And from what I see out there, I don’t think I’m alone. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Its kind of a weird question, but the thought that keeps coming to mind for me is: Am I the kind of mom I want my kids to be to my grandkids? I can absolutely tell you, that I’m not. I would be really sad to see my grown up kids on their devices as much as I am. I work hard right now to limit their time, but I don’t do nearly as well limiting my own time. And ultimately, they’re probably going to follow my example.

This is what life had turned in to for me: After every task I completed around the house, I felt drawn back to technology. For me, it was specific to social media — Facebook, to be exact. So after every task, before moving on to something else, I would take a break to check things out on Facebook and then spend much more time there than I should or than I was even aware of.

But over the past few months, its been bothering me a lot. I heard a talk where the speaker asked where our focus is. Is Facebook the last thing you do at night or first thing in the morning? Instead, shouldn’t we be dropping to our knees in prayer if our focus is in the right place?

Don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot of good out there in our world of technology. There’s even good — a lot of it — on Facebook. I find uplifting messages and am able to stay up to date with family and friends. I find out about tough things my local friends are struggling with that clues me in to what’s going on in their lives and what I might be able to help them with. I go to my Facebook friends for parenting advice or doctor referrals. And there are things that make me laugh & enjoy life a little more. But if we allow it to take over as the focus of our lives, to consume our thoughts, and be the thing we are turning to whenever we’re bored, between tasks, or should be focusing on other things, then I’d say it’s time to make some changes.

I had already begun making some changes when I listened to LDS General Conference a few weeks ago. One of the messages that stood out strongly to me was a little tiny portion of Elder Russell M. Ballard‘s talk, when he urged us to spend more time unplugged. His message specifically addressed that it would be easier to feel the spirit if we spent more of our time unplugged. But as I tried to live this advice, I found my life improving in so many other ways. When I spent more time unplugged, I was:

Getting more done every day (like painting the house and other projects that had been hanging over my head)
Finding the time for scripture study and prayer
Less annoyed by my kids and happier to answer their questions & help with the little things
Overall more content and happy
More creative & energized

Now, if any of those sound good to you and you want to give this a try, here’s some things I’ve done that just might work for you, too. I won’t claim to be perfect; I’m still working on this every single day — and sometimes it’s a real struggle. And I still get caught in the mindless scrolling trap from time to time. But I know it is making a difference in my life and I will continue to work on it.

Stay unplugged when you first get up. I play music from my phone for my kids as they’re getting ready for school and occasionally check the weather so they know what to wear that day. But other than that, I try to stay off social media, email, and everything else until I’ve sent them out the door to school.
Stay unplugged when the kids come home from school until they go to bed. They are gone for hours every day. When they come home, they deserve a mom who is focused on the home, not zoned out in front of a screen. This has been a really tough one because they don’t always need me. They’re running outside to play or whatever and I can easily sit and scroll through Facebook. But I’ve found that if I spend this time engaged in the home (working in the kitchen or cleaning up around the house), not only do I get more stuff done but I’m engaging with my kids a whole lot more. They’ll run in and out of the house and stop to chat for a couple minutes or I’ll help with a little project, talk to them about school or listen to them tell me about a project they’re making at the table. And I’m actually, really listening.
Give yourself a time limit. Even though most of my kids are at school, I still have one at home and a lot to get done each day. So spending all those school hours in front of a screen isn’t the best option either. I give my kids a time limit whenever screens are involved — a couple cartoons on Saturday morning, an hour of video games on Saturday only — and I’m pretty strict. If I expect them to learn good habits, I, as the adult, should be able to do the same. So, I’ll set a timer and say “30 minutes” of Facebook today and then I’m done. Or 15 minutes in the morning and another 15 minutes in the evening — with a timer set. Not only does it help limit my time, but it also helps me be aware of where my time is being spent.
Spend time out & about unplugged. I’ve spent a lot of time in waiting rooms lately — doctor’s offices, auto repair places, etc. And you probably won’t be surprised to hear that its rare to see someone who isn’t glued to their phone. I have been the same way. But I usually have at least one kid with me and for the last few weeks I’ve been trying to spend that time engaged with them. When I had to take my daughter for her very first blood test a couple of weeks ago, she was able to confide in me how nervous she was because it was just us, with no screens in the way. It can offer you some amazing one-on-one time with your kids.
Go from task to task without picking up your device. I don’t know why this one is so hard, but I’ve talked to others who have the same tendency. We feel that need to check in with the world every few minutes so we don’t miss something or just because we want a break from life. I don’t know what it is but its tough to fight. But what I’ve found as I’ve forced myself to break the habit of checking out my Facebook feed every time I finish a task is that I am getting so much done. And I mean I’ve become so super productive that sometimes I’m amazed at how much time I really have each day: painting, cleaning, reading ~~a book~~ 5 books to my 3 year old, pulling weeds, reading uplifting messages, decorating the house, finishing up projects, working on my church calling, sitting on the back porch while the kids play or after they’ve gone to bed, going for a walk, reading a book that I want to read, and the list goes on and on.
Stay focused! Sometimes I need to look something up at a time when I would normally be unplugged. I need to see which books are due back at the library this week or check the teacher’s newsletter to see the details of tomorrow’s fieldtrip, etc. When I have to do those things, I used to get caught. I was online already so I would go on to something else and something else. Now that I’m being more conscious of it, I make myself get on, find what I’m looking for, and then turn it off. This is HUGE and really hard to do!
Use paper scriptures. I have my scriptures on my phone & iPad so I can have easy access when I’m out and about and need them. But I don’t use them on a regular basis. By using my old fashioned had copy of the scriptures, the kids actually know what I’m doing when I’m reading the scriptures. They can tell when they walk in the room and I’m reading, rather than seeing my face lit up by a screen that they don’t know what is happening on. It really gives your kids a chance to learn by example. I do the same thing with books as often as I can. From time to time, I’ll read an ebook but I try to do most of my reading from paper books so they see the example of me reading, not thinking I’m staring at a game or social media. And what they see and perceive really makes a difference.

So, I say we start a movement! Would you care to join me? Let’s make a conscious choice to spend more time unplugged, doing the things that matter most and connecting with the people who matter more than our devices. In those small amounts of time that you are online, you can spread the word by sharing this post or posting a picture of what you did with the extra time you had today because you unplugged and include the hashtag #MoreTimeUnplugged so we can follow along! Good luck & please share your thoughts, best tips & advice in the comments — I think we all could use it.

Moved in, Un-boxed, and Decorated — well, mostly

May 1, 2018 by kim.milius@gmail.com 2 Comments

(This post contains affiliate links which means if you choose to click on a link and buy that item, I’ll get a small portion of the sale for advertising. Please understand that I only recommend products we already know, love, and use around our own house, there’s no increase of price to you, and it’s just a way to pay for the time I spend putting off my chores by blogging about things I love!)

It was one year ago today that our belongings were delivered to our new home. I made a huge goal, which seemed very doable at the time, to have our stuff completely un-boxed in one month and the house set up and decorated in 1 year. We had just moved from a house I had liked. But I really fell in love with that house right before we put it on the market to sell it and I had it all decorated and organized for buyers to come look at it. Why do we do that? We live in a work in progress and then rush to get everything perfect for someone else to enjoy. I didn’t want to repeat that cycle. And because I know this isn’t our forever home and we’ll be moving again in 3-7 years, I felt even more hurried so I could really love my time in this house

Well, I didn’t do it . . . but I got awfully close. Life threw us some major curve balls this year that really made it difficult. But we managed to get the whole interior painted (minus 2 bathrooms that still need the edging painted, and a couple spots that are too high for me to reach that I have to leave for Jeff to do) — that was a huge job and we had some help from a friend and my parents that made a big difference. We changed out the carpet before we moved in, bought &/or adjusted curtains, and did lots of decorating. I’ve never felt confident with the decorating, but I’ve worked on it over the years and am pretty happy with the results! I just channeled my inner Rashelle (my sister who was blessed with a great eye for design). The den still needs furniture rearranged and things hung on the walls. And at 11 months and 2 weeks, I decided I just wasn’t happy with the master bedroom furniture so it’s been rearranged but I’m at a loss of what to do on the walls there. But, the entry, dining room (our library), family room, and kitchen are complete! And I am loving living in this house and okay with having a few projects still to work on (though I hope to finish them up soon).

If you’re in the middle of doing all this kind of stuff, pull out a project and do some work on it today. When I really got down to business, it was amazing how much I could fit in in just 1/2 hour to an hour after the kids were in bed. I was amazed that I didn’t have to devote a full day to painting, etc., but could get a whole bunch done in little chunks of time throughout the week. So, without me rambling anymore . . . here are our results:

The house was empty when we first saw it and looked move-in ready enough. But we soon realized that the beige/yellow/brown walls combined with the same colors in the tile felt dark and oppressive. Once we painted all the walls with Revere Pewter, it made a huge difference to the feeling of the house. It was a 30 minute drive (each way) every time I had to pick up that paint, but it was worth it! There were also very formal curtains in every room that all got replaced.

I brought along some of my favorite decor that I had purchased to stage our previous house, then got some new frames from Michaels and an awesome table from Kirklands for my entryway.

Our couches that were already showing their age, ended up in terrible shape after the move, so we replaced them and had to get new curtains for our taller windows. This shag rug is one of my favorite things ever! It is so plush that my sister’s kids even slept on it (with the tile floor beneath) when they came to visit. I had actually bought a different rug that we had for a little while and it was cute and soft but it was a mess, shedding all over everything that touched it. I lived with it for as long as I could and then called the company to return it — luckily they did so happily and even refunded my money. So, I really researched when it came to buying the next one and we have loved it.

We didn’t have any formal dining room furniture and felt like it was wasted space anyway since we would always eat in the eat-in kitchen space. So, we transformed the dining room into our own little library. The storage cubes make great extra seating and store puzzles that can be done on the table. I agonized over what to do for the windows and rug. But this vibrant rug and the teal ombre curtains add some great color and fun to the room. I gave each of the kids a canvas and they got to paint the artwork for the walls.

Since the kitchen is open to the family room, I wanted the curtains to match without being the same. I also didn’t want curtains hanging down where they would get destroyed by messy hands. So, my mom shortened an additional set of family room curtains to just go over the top. And I got the adorable circular shelves from our trip to Magnolia Market.

Now, here’s where I need your help! I always struggle with the master bedroom and have used the same paintings on the wall for about 15 years. I decided it was time for a change and got rid of them. So, this is what the room looks like. I love the bedding and new curtains but I have two blank walls that need something. The walls are the same Revere Pewter in all the other pictures but they look a little darker here because we still need to change out the yellow light bulbs in the room for white — that makes a huge difference! On the right, you can see part of the dresser and there is nothing against the left wall. So, give me your ideas, cuz I got nothin’!

Latter Day Box Review

March 20, 2018 by kim.milius@gmail.com Leave a Comment

I got myself signed up for the very first month of Latter Day Box a few months ago. I’ve always loved the idea of these fun subscription boxes where you get a surprise box in the mail every month. Of course, you’ve paid for it in advance, but its still like getting a fun gift in the mail — who wouldn’t like that? But I never signed up for one until now. There are two problems, really. The first is the clutter – when you’re getting a box of surprise goodies, more than likely something in there isn’t going to be something you’ll use or will just be excess “stuff” you don’t need. For someone who gets overwhelmed by too much clutter, that is a really bad idea! The second is cost – do I really need to spend $30, $40, $50 on unnecessary stuff every month when there are so much better ways to be spending that money? Yep, that’s the frugal side of me coming out.

So, with both of those things in mind, I loved the idea of the Latter Day Box – a monthly box of LDS goodies, including a book – but it still took me a long time and a lot of back-and-forth in my head for me to finally sign up. I thought it was a brilliant idea, but those two problems just kept coming to mind. When I finally did sign up, I signed up with the month to month option so I wasn’t locked in and could drop it if I felt like it wasn’t worth it. But I really thought this could be something great. If I was going to be bringing more “stuff” into my house every month, if it was stuff that helped me and my family become more centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ, why wouldn’t I want that?

And I have to tell you I have loved it! Every month I get a new book — and every one of the books, when I’ve pulled them out of the box, I have been excited by the title. The one I’m reading right now, I am really loving and feel like its going to be a real life-changing book; I can’t wait to share a book review when I finish it! In addition to the book, they include other fun things. The ones I have loved the most are pictured below: my bracelet that says “God is my strength” on the inside of it, a wooden tag that says “enjoy the little things”, the dish that I set by the sink to hold my wedding ring and bracelet when I do the dishes that says “with God all things are possible”, and the little bird that hangs from the review mirror in my car and says “the Lord is my strength and my song”. They’re little bits of uplifting encouragement that I see all throughout my day.

And those things that I’m not sure I have a place for or need? I have a little box stashed in my closet to keep them. When I need a quick little gift for someone at church or a family member, I have things on hand right there. For someone who doesn’t live near a Deseret Book, it has been really awesome! My kids will each be getting a new scripture marking pencil in their Easter baskets; this month’s box had a CTR carabiner clip that I loved so much I had to find more online to give one to each of my kids to hook to their backpacks; and I even have something special on hand to give a little girl for her baptism this weekend.

Bottom line: if you haven’t heard of Latter Day Box, you need to check it out! And if you have heard of it and you’ve been waffling back and forth, give it a try and see what you think.

Here’s an unboxing facebook live video I did for the box I got this month:

General Conference: 9 Fun Note Taking Ideas for Kids

March 9, 2018 by kim.milius@gmail.com 2 Comments

General Conference weekend! I always look forward to it, while at the same time worrying about it. I love the spiritual uplift it brings when I’m able to listen to the talks and to the spirit. But sometimes the kids are too noisy for me to hear much, let alone feel calm enough to feel the spirit. Tell me I’m not the only one who’s been there! It’s also a time when I’m supposed to be teaching my kids to not only be quiet and listen but to enjoy the experience — and that can take work! We’ve done all sorts of things over the years, handing out candy when they listen to a talk or when they learn something from a talk, just sitting in the same room but with their toys so they can hear but have their hands occupied, and lots of the fun ideas you’ll find out in internet-land. There’s some super cute ideas out there! We’ve tried & had fun with lots of them.

As my kids have gotten older (ages 3-10 now), I wanted to move away from handing out candy and actually teach the kids how to learn something. But I still wanted to make it enjoyable. But how to do that?

As I thought and prayed over a couple weeks leading up to last General Conference, inspiration hit! I would give them a fun way to take notes — they would listen and learn but it would still be fun. That’s doable right? I knew that doing the same thing for each session would get old, so I had to come up with 4 different ideas, one for each session.

We used 4 of these ideas last conference and they were a hit! But I wanted to come up with a bunch of things we could rotate through, so here they are — 9 fun ways for kids to take notes during General Conference (while watching at home):

1 – Shape Art Notes: Randomly draw connected shapes on a piece of paper (or print out the one I made here). Kids get to write or draw something they learn about during the session in each shape and color it in. This is meant to last a full session of conference, so tell them not to rush and fill up all the shapes at once, just one or two things from each talk.

2 – Conference Posters: In the days leading up to General Conference, spend some time going through old church magazines and cutting out pictures that have to do with gospel topics. I sorted the pictures into ziploc sandwich bags by category (pictures of: family, temple, prayer, etc). For conference, each kid got a 1/2 piece of poster board and a glue stick. We laid out all the pictures on the floor — I took them out of their bags and put them on paper plates that were labeled as to what the pictures were. The kids were up on their feet for most of the session as they would listen, hear a key word and get up to find a picture of it. This one took some prep work, but was so worth it. I loved the way their posters turned out and we hung them up on the wall in our bedroom hallway for a while to help us remember what we learned in conference.

3 – Butcher Paper Art: Roll out a roll of butcher paper on the table or floor and give the kids markers, crayons, or colored pencils. As they listen, they can work together to write down or draw pictures of the things they hear and make one giant masterpiece.

4 – Post it Notes: Give each kid their own stack of post it notes. As they listen to the conference session, they can write or draw pictures of what they hear on the post it notes. Then stick those notes to a picture of the person who gave the talk. If you used our General Conference countdown and have the pictures of the apostles on the wall already, this is perfect! You’ll need to add some Mystery Speaker pages to the wall for the speakers that aren’t part of the 12 apostles and first presidency. Someone can draw a picture of the mystery speaker and you can write their name on the page before the post it notes get added.

5 – Mobile Notes: Have the kids use 3×5 cards (or cut out pieces of paper, different shapes would be fun!) to write or draw their notes of what they hear during the session. Add a string to each card and hang them from a hanger (here’s an example). These could be hung up in their bedrooms afterward as a reminder of what they learned at conference.

6 – Secret Message Notes: Each kid should get a piece of white paper and a white crayon. Have them write or draw what they hear during conference. This could be tricky for the little ones since they won’t be able to see as they draw, but some might still have fun with it. During the last talk of the session, they can trade papers and use watercolors to paint over the top of the paper and see the notes/drawings that the other person made being revealed!

7 – Bubble Notes: Similar to the shape art notes, create a page with circles all over it, using paint and a toilet paper roll (see this link for an example). The kids can do this as an activity between sessions on Saturday t0 use for notes during a Sunday session. Draw pictures or write notes in each circle. You could also use butcher paper or a larger sheet of paper and make your circles with a cup (as shown in the example link) for larger circles.

8 – Bookmarks: Print out a few bookmark templates for each kid (on cardstock if you won’t be laminating them). They can use one bookmark for each speaker to write or draw their notes. Write the name of the speaker and the conference year & session on the backside of the bookmark. After conference, cut out the bookmarks and laminate then let the kids keep them to use when reading. If When they lose them its not a big deal and maybe someone else will pick it up and enjoy the uplifting words or pictures from conference!

9 – Doodle Cubes: I saw this super cute idea on Pinterest (of course!) and thought it would be a great way to take notes. Print a few doodle cubes for each kid and have them write/draw their notes on the unfolded cubes. After the session, fold them up into cubes.

This post seems like it needs one more idea, doesn’t it? Like we need a nice round 10? I couldn’t come up with anything, but if you do, leave it in the comments so we can all benefit from your creativity! And if you try any of these ideas, I’d love to hear about it. Enjoy your General Conference weekend & I hope your kids learn to love it, too!

A Better Way to Wake up The Kids

February 12, 2018 by kim.milius@gmail.com 2 Comments

One of my goals this year is to be a “more fun mom”. I can be quite the drill sergeant . . . I feel like I have to be with 5 young kids. Everyone has to know what to do and when to do it because I can’t do it all. When its all working the way its supposed to, its pretty efficient, but its not much fun. And I want my kids to want to be here, to love their family and the time they get to spend with us. So, I decided that this year, I want to find ways to add more fun to our routines and maybe some spontaneity, too.

Ever since coming back from Christmas break, the kids have struggled with getting up in the morning. My normally early risers were struggling to get out of bed and get moving in the morning — on school days only. Strangely, those same kids manage to get up super early and have tons of energy on the weekends — someone explain that one to me, please! Anyway, one morning I had this sudden thought that I should sing them awake. And so I headed to their rooms singing and they woke up a little more chipper, with some silly smiles on their faces wondering what was going on.

That day, I spent the day searching my memory and the iTunes store for some great “good morning” type songs. I wanted upbeat, fun, great music to wake up to but not too loud and crazy that it would be hard to talk over. I found a great short list of songs!

Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’ by Gordon MacRae (from Oklahoma)
Good Morning by Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds & Donald O’Connor (from Singin in the Rain)
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!
Seize The Day (from Newsies)
Good Mornin’ Life by Dean Martin

Over the holidays, we had bought the coolest light bulb that we put in our hallways by the kids’ bedrooms. It replaces one of our “can” light bulbs. Its actually a light bulb that doubles as a sound system/speaker that I can hook up to my phone through bluetooth so I can play the music right there in the hallway, loud enough to reach the kids’ rooms. (It also still has the light, so its just as bright as before, but you can also make it change different colors and pulse to the beat of the music — this thing is awesome!) See, when I was a teenager, one of my best friends had an intercom system in her house that her mom would play music over. I always thought it was awesome and that was one of the things I wanted in my house when I grew up! This is as close as I’ve gotten to having an intercom system and I think its a pretty fun way to do it. It is perfect for our wake up music in the morning.

And my kids love the new wake up call! I sing, and sometimes dance, through the morning routine (so I’m a happier mom!), and they’re learning these super fun songs and are singing along (and laughing more) now too. We could use some additions to our playlist, so if you can think of any great “morning” songs that we need to wake up to, let me know!

The Trip When Everything Went Wrong

January 3, 2018 by kim.milius@gmail.com 2 Comments

We had quite a year in 2017 with selling our house, neck surgery for me, moving to a different state, living in a hotel for 6 weeks, moving into a new house, a surprise pregnancy, a difficult miscarriage, lots of illness, major home repairs on our “new” home, and my husband, Jeff, breaking his ankle and foot on Thanksgiving day.

We ended the year with a trip home to Arizona to spend time with our extended families that didn’t go at all as planned. I try really hard not to use social media (or the blog) to vent or whine about things going wrong. So its taken a month, but I can now laugh at how ridiculously wrong the whole thing went. So, I guess that means its time to share and maybe you can laugh with me!

I was hesitant to even go on the trip because Jeff wasn’t able to do much with a cast on his leg which meant most of the work would fall on me. And a trip with 5 kids under 10, especially at Christmas, is a lot of work!! But we went for Christmas last year and at my family’s Christmas party we won this silly singing Christmas tree thing during one of the games. It was one of those things from our childhood that we all laughed and laughed about. So, when my mom surprised us with it as a game prize, we joked that whoever won it would get it for a year and then have to bring it back the next year for another family to win. So I felt this need to go back since we had to bring the singing Christmas tree for someone else to win. And we had also decided to have Evie, our 8 year old, baptized there so all our extended family could be there for that special day. It was a good plan that went horribly wrong.

The day before we left, the boys told me their bedroom floor was wet. I was worried about what kind of bodily fluids I was going to be cleaning up but they both swore it wasn’t from them. As I felt around more, it was obvious there was a problem. So, we pulled back the carpet and found a major puddle under the carpet pad. It looked like it was probably coming from the master shower on the other side of the wall. Since I was still trying to get 7 people packed up for a trip and Jeff couldn’t do much, I put him to work making calls to the homeowner’s insurance and plumbers. Since it was right before Christmas, a plumber couldn’t be scheduled for a week. And since we were going to have to wait for a plumber until after Christmas anyway, we decided to go ahead and go on our trip. So, added to an already crazy busy day of prepping for a trip, I pulled back the carpet and pad, dried them out as best as I could, and Jeff turned off the water main as we drove out of town, praying for the best.

The drive went as well as could be expected when you consider 5 kids (ages 3-10) crammed in a car with two sleep deprived adults for 15 hours in one day and a dvd player that had worked the night before but refused to work on the trip. We were staying at my parents’ mountain home in Snowflake, AZ and crammed into their house along with a couple of my siblings and more than a dozen kids. My parent’s have a great space off their bedroom that they laid out wall to wall sleeping bags for the kids to crash at night. My mom joked about it sounding like a tuberculosis ward because everybody brought coughing kids with them. But we were all having a great time despite the coughs.

My brother-in-law is an optometrist and made our first medical diagnosis of the trip. Breanna (3 yrs old) had woken up the morning we left home with goopy, crusty eyes. I had just wiped them off and gone on with the trip. But by the next day, it was worse and they were continuing to drain all day. He was sure it was conjunctivitis and was luckily able to get us some eye drops to help.

It only got worse from there. The first full day we were there, we had kids throwing up. Luckily, they made it to the bathroom and over the toilet. We hoped it was just a fluke because traveling with kids can kind of throw their little bodies for a loop sometimes. But we weren’t that lucky!

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were filled with sickness and by then we knew that things were going to be really bad. We were planning to drive 3 hours away to stay with my in-laws in Gilbert (Phoenix area) a couple days after Christmas. My parents had to head to their other house in Mesa (Phoenix area) for their responsibilities and we were planning to leave Snowflake at that same time. But my mother-in-law can end up in the hospital when exposed to stomach bugs, flu, etc. So, we had to cancel our plans to stay with them. The kids were coughing so bad, running fevers, miserable, and there was still some throwing up going on. So, instead, my parent’s left and we stayed behind with our sick kids. Now, our trip to visit family had us in an empty house, 3 hours away from all grandparents, and with a bunch of sick kids. I just wanted to go home and take care of everyone there. But we had to stay for the baptism that was planned in a few days.

My dad had a doctor’s appointment after they left to their other house and he had a confirmed case of the flu. With how rotten we were all feeling (myself included), we decided a trip to urgent care was in order. Snowflake is a small town and we had to drive to another town 1/2 hour away to find an urgent care. We spent most of the morning there. The doctor was worried about swabbing all the kids and wanted to just test me and if it came back positive then he would test the kids. But I fought with him over it which was a good thing since I got a negative test result. We did get one confirmed case of the flu from Chase (10 yrs). We’re pretty sure we all had it but were just too far into it for a positive test result. Chase was just starting to get sick at that point.

They prescribed Tamiflu for all of us since we had one confirmed case of the flu in the family. We asked them to send the prescription to a pharmacy in Snowflake and figured it would be ready by the time we drove back there. We stopped at the pharmacy before going to my parent’s house and they hadn’t even received it yet. So, we went back to the house and waited a couple hours before calling the pharmacy to see if they had it yet. Still no. So, I called the urgent care back and it turned out they had sent the prescription to the wrong pharmacy. So, they were going to call it into the right one; they ended up calling me back to let me know that the pharmacy near us was completely out of Tamiflu. Not only that, but the pharmacy they had originally called was out of it too. They called around and finally found one pharmacy that had enough for us and was going to put it on hold for us so they didn’t run out . . . but it was in the town that the urgent care was in. So back in the car I went for another 1/2 hour drive to pick up a prescription. When I got there, they didn’t have the prescriptions ready and couldn’t even find anything for us. They finally located prescriptions for 2 of us. A few minutes later they found they other two but insisted they didn’t have one for Chase, who was the one who needed it most. A few minutes later, they finally found it and said they would now start working on filling them. I waited for what seemed like forever and finally got called up. They had them all filled except the one for Chase because they ran out of the dose that he needed! He got his prescription half filled and we were told we’d have to get the rest of it somewhere else. They couldn’t get the computer to work with this kind of a dosage so I would have to pay full price and then full price again for the rest of the prescription. I told them I didn’t even care at that point, I just wanted to get the medicine. Our co-pay turned out to only be $10 so it really wasn’t a huge deal for as desperate as I felt! By the time I made it back to my parent’s house, it had taken a full day for us to do urgent care and the pharmacy and we only ended up with half the medication Chase needed. (And we never were able to find a pharmacy with any Tamiflu in stock in Arizona or when we got back to Texas!)

On top of the flu, each night I had a kid throwing up. And this stomach bug was so bad that my kids that normally can make it to the toilet with no problem were waking up and vomiting before they could even stand up. They were sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags. Yep, I was spending my nights, while everyone else was sleeping, running loads of sleeping bags through the wash, while I was still trying to recover from the flu myself. The last night we were there, Chase threw up over his own AND two other sleeping bags. Of course, I could only get one sleeping bag in the washing machine at a time. By this point, I was so exhausted and the idea of being awake washing 3 loads of sleeping bags just put me over the edge. I called my mom to give her an update and just bawled over the phone to her. I was soooooo done!

But the next morning, I managed to get everything packed and everyone loaded up and in the car to drive the 3 hours to where all our extended family lives and where we would be having the baptism. Before we even got out of the neighborhood, Landon (5 yrs) was sick to his stomach. Luckily, I keep one of those pink hospital tubs in the car for throw up emergencies. I tossed it back to him and he threw up. So, we had to find a spot (outside the neighborhood and not in someone’s yard!) to pull over and dump it and clean it out. We also made a stop at a 7-11 to buy some empty large drink cups so we had enough for whoever might throw up. It took us a full hour from the time I locked the door of my parent’s house to the time we actually pulled out of town. Landon threw up 2 more times on the drive that day.

As we pulled into Mesa, our brakes started making this horrible — and I mean horrible! — grinding sound. So, we got checked into a hotel and I left Jeff and the kids and sped straight for a repair shop that was closing in half an hour. $400 and 2 hours later, our brakes and shocks were fixed and the car was sounding so much better. It was well past our normal dinner time and poor Jeff was trapped at the hotel with 5 kids who were getting very restless. I stopped for fast food and got back to the hotel as quickly as possible. And then we got kids to bed since we had to be up and ready for the baptism the next morning.

The hotel stay was not in our original trip plan since we were planning to be staying with my in-laws. But when we knew we were going to have to stay in a hotel, we only knew of one option. We wanted to be close to where the baptism would be but it was in not the best area of town and we weren’t sure about what hotels would even be in the area. But just shy of 20 years ago (it was 20 years on Jan 10th), we had stayed at a La Quinta in that area after our wedding reception for our little one night honeymoon. It was a brand new hotel when we stayed there, their first week in business if I remember correctly, and it was really nice. We had no idea what it was like now, but figured it was a good option. When Jeff called to make a reservation this time, they answered the phone with comments about the “newly renovated La Quinta”. It was beautifully renovated but we had to laugh that this time around we had to get two separate rooms and Jeff slept in one room with two of the kids and I was in the other room with the other 3 kids. What a difference 20 years makes & what a funny early anniversary celebration it was!!

The next morning, I ran down to the hotel lobby to grab breakfast for all 7 of us. As you can imagine, it takes a lot of food to feed us but I didn’t want kids getting their church clothes dirty or going downstairs in pajamas so bringing it up to the room was the only option. I loaded up my arms and took up as much food as I could!

We managed to get ready and get to the church for the baptism with no problems — it was a pretty smooth and easy morning! We were having the baptism and putting on a lunch afterward for the extended family that would be there with us. Before we got inside, my sister was already there and let us know there was a scheduling conflict. Our mom had scheduled the kitchen, the gym (for the lunch), and the room we needed for the baptism. When we got there, the kitchen was full of people who were making something for a service project — they had also scheduled the kitchen. And the gym was decorated for a wedding reception — that had also been scheduled. When my mom arrived called the building scheduler to find out what was going on, he admitted there might be a little bit of overlap between the events. So now we were planning a lunch for 70+ people and had no place to have it or kitchen to prepare it. When my mom’s Bishop arrived for the baptism and she told him what was going on, he was not nearly as stressed out as we were. Instead, he blessed my life by sharing a family saying of his: Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape. And everything really went okay. The people working in the kitchen were gone soon and we were able to get our food prepped. And after the baptism, we just had our friends and family help move some tables into the room we were already in to eat right there. It all worked out and we enjoyed our time with family. (Side note: I didn’t realize it at the time, but it turned out that the Bishop had been the drama teacher, Mr. C from the high school that I went to.)

Since Jeff’s parents would be at the baptism and we were still worried about getting my mother-in-law sick, we made Chase sit just outside the room where he could see into the room but wasn’t breathing the same air as everyone else. The poor kid felt miserable and was as white as a ghost. And on top of the flu, after we got to the church he started feeling sick to the stomach. Luckily, and gratefully, he made it to the restroom in time and there were no messes to clean up after him.

The baptism was beautiful and there was such a special spirit there. It was really great to be there with family and for Evie and her cousin, Crue, to get to share their baptism day. That night that I had bawled over the phone to my mom a thought had come into my mind while I was crying over everything and talking about how I wished we could just go home and be sick there. I remembered hearing, years earlier, a speaker named Jack Christensen talk about how Satan tries to distract us when we are about to have a great spiritual experience by throwing all sorts of obstacles in our way because he really doesn’t want us to have those great spiritual experiences. I truly feel like this trip did that for us, and I’m so glad we persevered and were still able to do the baptism as planned . . . when nothing else went as planned.

After we cleaned up and loaded everyone in the car, before we even left the parking lot, we had Lexi (5 yrs) throwing up in the car but she made it into one of those 7-11 drink cups that Jeff insisted we buy before we left Snowflake. She sat there retching over and over and completely filled it up — it was disgusting and by that point hilarious, too!! We ran a couple of errands and then started out on our drive. We were headed to my sister’s house in Thatcher which was a couple hours out of town and on our way back home to Texas. My family was all going to meet there to celebrate New Year’s Eve and we were excited to spend a couple more fun days before heading home. Thatcher is actually the town where I had attended a semester of college and later Jeff attended a semester, but where he had also proposed to me. So it would be fun to see some of the town again and reminisce with our 20th anniversary just a week and a half away. But right before going to bed that night, I happened to look online and see talk of a nasty ice storm heading through Texas. Being new to the area, we were worried about the roads and didn’t know how they would be to travel. We did not want to be out on a stretch of highway in the middle of nowhere and hit ice! So, we decided to skip the party and fun and instead headed out the very next morning to try to get ahead of the storm. We still hit quite a bit of ice as we drove but the roads were warm enough at that point that it didn’t cause us any problems and we made it home!

When we got home, there were no additional problems with the leak we had left behind and the carpet had finished drying out pretty well. We had a couple days to recuperate and then the kids headed back to school. And I swore I wouldn’t take another road trip for a good long time.

Taking Care of Mom (post #3)

December 12, 2017 by kim.milius@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Several weeks ago, I started a series on getting in shape. I was supposed to post every Friday. And I managed to post a whopping total of TWO times before life once again got in the way. We had been battling illness around our house and it only got worse. We went through one thing after another, including a bout with walking pneumonia and the stomach flu. And just when things were calming down, my husband went out to play football on Thanksgiving morning and broke his ankle and foot!

Of course, that new development kind of threw us for a loop! He’s now in a cast for 6 weeks, but I’m happy to say that I’m handling it pretty well. So, I wanted to finally update you on my progress.

You’ll see that I changed the title to this series of posts. I’ve been listening to some podcasts and attended a midweek activity at church and realized that what I’m really wanting to do isn’t so much about getting into shape or losing weight as it is about taking care of myself . . . taking care of the body and mind that I have so that they will function as well as possible and so I can take care of my family and do the things I love in life. And despite all the struggles in the recent weeks, I am making progress! I have felt more energy and enthusiasm for life and for motherhood and even for cleaning the house!

Rather than aiming for a certain weight or shape, what its really about is taking care of the mom so she is happier can take care of everyone else. There have been lots of road blocks along the way and there will continue to be, that’s just life. The challenge becomes finding ways to work with my circumstances, whatever they currently are, to problem solve and find a way to make it work.

So, when I’m not able to get out and exercise as consistently as I’d like to, I can at least make sure I’m walking the kids to school and home from school a few times a week. Or I can crank up the music and dance my way through the house cleaning that needs to be done.

I’ve also compiled a list of our family’s favorite healthy meals, and focused on those that also require very little time in the kitchen. I try to pull most of our meals from that list each week so there are quick healthy meals available instead of resorting to the drive-thru.

I’ve also found two awesome resources to keep me on track! I’ve been listening to a podcast called Thinner Peace by Dr. Deb Butler. Now, what’s funny is that its for women going through and after menopause. I’m not there quite yet, but I think most of what she has to say really relates to everyone, but especially those of us that are getting a little older and feel the effects of a slowing metabolism. And its great stuff!!! I’ve also joined a Facebook accountability group called Holiday Hustle by Liz Tennyson. She’s a fitness trainer but her challenges haven’t been focused on food and rigorous exercise so far. She posts some recipes, but what she’s challenging us to do is make lifestyle changes that will lead to a healthier and happier life. It’s been fantastic and I am loving it!

A Christ Centered Alternative to the Elf on the Shelf

November 29, 2017 by kim.milius@gmail.com Leave a Comment

We’ve never done Elf on the Shelf. And every year my kids hear about it from other kids and at least one of them asks if we can have our own elf. And I say no.

The biggest reason is that it is one more thing for me to have to do. And I don’t want one more thing to do . . . especially in December when we have Christmas, one birthday, and two birthdays coming up just days into the new year.

But what if there was something we could do that would bring some “magic” into the house and help us celebrate the season a little better? Something that wouldn’t take a whole lot of extra effort on my part? Something that would help my kids behave better but also would help focus us on Christ instead of Santa?

Well, we finally found the answer and this year we have our very own Little Lamb from Bethlehem. This is seriously the cutest little stuffed lamb with a book that tells the story of the birth of Christ in a simple way that children can understand, while also including the actual scripture verses if you want to read those as well.

The lamb is supposed to help us remember Jesus throughout the Christmas season. And the book includes some ideas of how you can use the lamb. But we came up with our own. The Little Lamb from Bethlehem is supposed to help us remember to show more kindness, just the way Jesus did, so we can become more like Him. So, our Little Lamb is linked to service. If the Little Lamb shows up on your bed, that means that someone did a service for you and you have 24 hours to quietly do a service for someone else in the family and put lamb on their bed for them to find. We want him to stay looking nice, so the kids aren’t allowed to sleep with him. If its on their bed at bedtime, it gets moved to the dresser until they have a chance to do their service the next day.

So, let me tell you about the cool thing that happened on our very first day. My daughter has been really ornery lately and she and I are butting heads a lot. She hasn’t been very pleasant to be around and most of her anger is directed toward me. After some prayer, I was prompted to have her be the first one to get the lamb and she gave her service to me. It was amazing to me that she picked to do something nice for me, even though she spends most of her time grumbling at me. And her attitude was a little bit better after that, too. I look forward to enjoying the rest of the Christmas season with a focus on service and love in our home as we try to become a little more like our Savior.

Wisdom Hairs

November 3, 2017 by kim.milius@gmail.com 1 Comment

We were at Sea World with the kids, in line for a ride when I happened to bend down and my 7 year old took note of all the white hairs that are noticeable on the top of my head. She let out a “wow!” and wasn’t shy in pointing out to me that I had a lot of white hairs. What followed was one of those magical parenting moments. They don’t happen nearly as often as I’d like, so I savor them when they do.

“Those are my wisdom hairs,” I told her and all the kids who were now listening intently.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Each one of those hairs represents wisdom that I’ve gained over the years.”

We laughed with Dad about how he doesn’t have any wisdom hairs on his head since he’s bald but that he’s starting to get more and more wisdom hairs in his goatee.

And then the 9 year old took the conversation in a perfect direction as he asked, “Can I take a few of your wisdom hairs and put them on my head?”

And very wisely ? I responded, “Wisdom hairs can’t be given away. If I gave you some, they’d just fall off your head. You have to earn your wisdom hairs throughout your life as you learn and grow through hard things, just like I have. And then, one day, I promise you’ll get your wisdom hairs, too.”

The conversation and fun moved on from there. But it was one of those moments I hope my kids will remember. The next time they are going through something hard, I’ll remind them that they’re in the process of earning their wisdom hairs. And the next time I look in the mirror and lament the physical signs of aging, I’ll remember the value of the experiences that have brought me to this stage in life and I will embrace the gray.