I was driving in the middle of nowhere in Texas, with the moon obscured by thick clouds overhead, and it was dark! It was all well and good until the road started to incline and curve and I really couldn’t tell exactly where it’s going. I was driving 80 miles an hour (the speed limit) and had a car full of kids that trusted me to keep them safe. So, I swallowed my nervousness and kept my eyes glued to the solid white line to the right of the car. I could only see a few feet in front of me, but knew if I kept my eyes focused on that line, that we would stay on the road.
Life can feel like that sometimes.
For us, right now, we know we have a big move – out of state, or maybe even out of country – coming up. But we have no idea where it will be. All we know is that probably within 6 months our house will be up for sale and we’ll be moving somewhere new by the end of the school year. It can be scary. It can be nerve-wracking. And for someone like me, who likes to be in control and direct every situation as much as I possibly can, it can be a very anxious time.
I’ve had people tell me they don’t know how we do it. And there was a time, I never would’ve believed I could do it . . . without a nervous breakdown.
But several years ago, I learned to put it in God’s hands.
We had been living in Maryland (across the country from all our family and friends) for 7 years. We had one toddler (almost 2 years old) and one on the way. In fact, I was getting awfully close to the end of the pregnancy, when we found out that we had a move coming up. My husband would be taking a new position in Colorado. We knew we would be moving and we were excited; we knew it was the right thing for our family. But there was one problem. When you move with a government job, you have to wait on government people to process things before you can do anything about it.
So, we couldn’t put our house up for sale or make any concrete plans because we didn’t have a move date. I had serious issues with this. It just went against everything inside of me that demanded to control the situation. And I was going to have a baby . . . soon!
I don’t know how it happened. I had always heard about turning things over to God instead of worrying. But I had never been able to do it. This time, however, I think it was so much more than I could possibly handle on my own that I had no choice but to turn it over Him. It has been more than 10 years since that day, but I still remember the incredible peace that filled my soul as I finally turned control of the situation over to God . . . and He did not disappoint!
We finally got the go ahead from the government that our move date was in 6 weeks and we were able to move forward with getting ready. We went out on a house hunting trip . . . and couldn’t find anything that fit our budget and our needs in the area where we felt impressed to live.
But we went anyway. We drove across country — I was then 8 months pregnant when we left. When we arrived in Colorado, we found a hotel to stay in while we hunted for an apartment as a temporary living situation until we could find a home.
That Sunday (the Sunday before Thanksgiving), we went to church — attending the ward that was in the area that we felt we should live in (still no concrete place to live). We met several people but one family (the Kimbers) got our phone number before we left. They called us just a few minutes later, while we were driving back to the hotel after church, and invited us to come over for dinner that night. We made these instant friends who offered to help with anything we needed. And even offered to watch our toddler when I went into labor.
We found an apartment that agreed to do a short term lease while we continued our house hunt. It would take a few days to get the apartment ready, so we stayed in a hotel until then. They were able to get it ready sooner than expected and we were able to “move in” to the apartment the day before Thanksgiving. The moving truck hadn’t arrived with our stuff yet, so we were sleeping on an air mattress and making the best of things (yes, at 8 months pregnant!).
On Black Friday, I started feeling pretty miserable. By that evening, I was sure that I would be going in to labor soon. Jeff called the Kimbers and asked if they would be okay with a middle of the night call if I went into labor that night. They assured him that it would be fine. Sure enough, at about 3am, the contractions were regular enough to head to the hospital. Lorie Kimber came right over to take care of our sleeping toddler and we knew he was in good hands.
We showed up to the hospital without a doctor. I had an appointment scheduled with a new doctor in Colorado but that appointment was still a few days away. The real miracle here is that the exact doctor who our realtor had recommended just so happened to be on call that night and was the doctor they called in to come and take care of me. She actually didn’t take new patients in the office so I hadn’t been able to get an appointment with her. She was amazing and led us through the delivery with ease.
Lorie Kimber was our angel. Not only did she help out with Chase during the delivery of our new baby, but on Monday, when I was to be released from the hospital and our moving truck was delivering our things at the exact same time, Lorie was the one to bring me home from the hospital. What a blessing she was in our lives! I don’t know what we would’ve done without her and her sweet family.
There is no way that I could’ve controlled everything to work out just the way it did. The only possible way for it to work out so well was to trust God to work it out for us. I know that He would’ve done so even if I had held on to my stressed out need for control. But putting it in His hands allowed me to feel peace and comfort through a challenging time. I had tried to do that very thing for years during times of worry and stress. So, I can’t tell you exactly how to do it, but I believe that as you live close to the Savior and learn to trust Him, it will come.