Getting Unstuck from the Mom Rut

Do you ever feel stuck in a rut?  Every day is the same old thing: laundry, dishes, meals, picking up after the kids, taking the kids where they need to go, etc., etc., etc.  I think this is where a lot of moms get stuck; start to feel bored, unappreciated, and unfulfilled; and sometimes even start to resent being “the mom”. 

I know; I’ve been there.  Sometimes I get stuck there for a while and other times I quickly pull myself out.  But it is so easy to fall back into that awful place.

So, I wonder.  Have you found anything that helps?  How do you get yourself “unstuck”?

A Solution

Well, my solution goes back to when I was a teenager.  I would get “stuck” then, too.  My mom could always tell because I would be cranky and seriously lacking in energy.

She would gently pull me aside and give me the answer.  “You need a goal.”  It was as simple as that.  I needed something to be excited about, something to look forward to, and something to help me to learn and to grow, something outside of my normal routine. 

And it ALWAYS did the trick!

Sometimes, we feel like we don’t have the time for a goal, especially when there’s a house full of little kids.  And sometimes we can feel like we don’t have the energy to add in one more thing.  And sometimes, we just get stuck in our routine and don’t even realize we need to get out!

So, I’m going to encourage you to take a look at your life.  Does something need to change?  Recently, I went through this process yet AGAIN. 

 

Here We go Again

I sent my husband off across the country on a 6 month business trip.  The next day, I sent all 5 kids off to school for the very first time (the youngest started kindergarten).  I thought it would be like a brand new life; it was so exciting!  And I was getting stuff done during the day, but I was also very tired and very resentful that my husband (even though he left with my blessing) was off having great adventures while I was stuck at home dealing with all the messiness of taking care of our family on my own. 

After 5 weeks of wallowing (how did I let it go on so long?), I finally realized what was going on.  I needed something to be excited about, something to work towards and help me to grow!  I got a new perspective and was able to wake up the next day with a new lease on life.  Now, every day isn’t perfect, but having something to work toward has made a huge difference.

Even if You Have Kids at Home

Now, if you’re in that “Sure, that works for you because all your kids in school but I can’t because I have kids at home” spot, I want you to snap out of that right now!  When our oldest was just 3 years old and his younger sister was 2, our twins were born.  I had 4 kids, all home with me nearly 24 hours a day (the 3 year old went to preschool for a grand total of 5 hours during the entire week).  I got bogged down for a bit, because, you know, newborn twins.  But within a few months, I had set a goal to run a 5k.  It was hard fitting in the practice.  I didn’t have a stroller that fit 4 kids, so I could only go out to run when my husband was home.  But setting that goal, giving me something to work toward, was a huge boost for me.  It helped me have a better attitude about everything I was doing and made all the hard stuff of being a mom to 4 little bitty kids feel less like drudgery.

So, have you decided?  Are you ready to set a goal?

First, some words of caution

1. Don’t let it take you away from your priorities.  If your priority is your family, you probably don’t want to choose something that requires you to leave them for hours each day.  You can even choose something simple that you can do at home and even involve the kids.
2. It doesn’t have to be BIG!  A small goal like doing some organizing around the house, can be enough to get you excited and out of your regular routine.  That’s enough!
3. Remember that we’re not striving for perfection, but for learning and growth.  If you get easily stuck in perfectionism, there is a great article called ,What it means to Pursue Perfection, that I just listened to on my walk the other day.  The part I loved the most was that if we follow the Savior’s example, we should focus on “increasing” as He did, “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” (Luke 2:52) – just getting a little better every day.

Some simple goal ideas?

• Reading a book
• Working on a musical talent (singing or an instrument)
• Cooking healthier meals
• A project in the yard
• Organizing
• Doing some deep cleaning projects
• Going for a walk each day
• Writing in your journal
• Family history work or Indexing
• Reading the scriptures
• Watching or listening to an uplifting talk each day
• Decorating the house
• Craft projects

I hope those helped to get your mind going.  Maybe something stuck out to you or maybe you need to pray for more guidance.  But don’t put it off; start something right away and start bringing more joy into your life!

I’d love for you to share some of the goals you’ve worked into your motherhood journey by leaving a comment below.  You never know when your comment might be just the idea that someone else needs to hear!

 

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